The following cases were on the docket March 20 in Lamar superior court. Judge Bill Fears presided.
Carmella C. Parker, aggravated assault; revoked two years probation.
Serial offenders Timothy J. Alford (left) and Carmella C. Parker were allegedly selling methadone on the streets. Both are very frequent visitors to the local jail and courtroom but we can't seem to rid the county of them.
I have a solution to rid Lamar County of these non-producing leeches who have perpetually attached themselves to society's large butt. They suck up valuable resources that could be used to benefit local community programs. Besides receiving "3 hots and a cot" and color tv in our jails, they most likely have EBT cards, gov't paid free cell phones, Medicaid, etc.
To hasten their departure from our midst, I'm willing to start a "GOOD BYE TIMMY AND CARMELLA FUND" with a substantial donation of $4.32 left over from my "generous" retirement check of $1238 per month. If Walter will volunteer to be the Treasurer of our community fund, I'm sure ample money will accumulate quickly and one way tickets can be purchased for Timmy's and Carmella's bon voyage when released from the joint.
I propose one way tickets for the lucky travelers to fly them over to the Obama family mud hut village located near the sparkling shores of Lake Victoria in Kenya. I have heard an Obama half brother is the big slum lord...err,...I mean, mud hut lord in the palatial village. This new laid back way of life sharing good times with goats, chickens and future politicians in a quaint smokey village has to be a better way of living than sharing stinky jail cells with local hoods and assorted worthless layabouts.
Anyone else willing to donate to the cause?
Call N. Alcars
'followers of obama's economics are Keynesians"
'residents of obama's home country are Kenyans'
This will probably get censored but I am so sick and tired of our Judges letting these people go with some probation. Apparently they don't live close to this town. Now the council members say hey do we have a crime problem here in our town?
I was selected to serve on Jury Duty here about 6 months ago and was sick to my stomach. They had a court full of criminals and we did not hear 1 case they let every person that showed up plea out.
What we need is a Judge that has a pair and lock some of these idiots up.
You are very astute in pointing out the unhappiness displayed on the mugs of Timmy and Miss Mella. They project an expression of forelorn abandonment.
According to my old friend, Phoshizzle "No Mo Hoodies" Jackson, who was a courtroom observer that day, Timmy and Mella had reason to be bereft.
Shizzle said Timmy wasn't pithed when da' judge denied his request for bond. Likewise, Mella wasn't concerned when da' judge revoked her 2 years probation.
Timmy and Mella had put up twenty-five cents each and had a trustee purchase them a "fiddy-cent box" on the Daily 3 Lottery. The trustee whispered as they shuffled past that their 'fiddy-cent box' numbers '666' were losers. It went downhill from that point. Shizzle said they weren't concerned about da' judge's decision regarding their cases. They just wanted to regroup and leave the courtroom and get back to their '3 hots and cot' in jail because fried 'baloney sammiches' and seasoned butter beans were on the dinner menu. They were 'powerful hongry'.
The final chapter of Timid Timmy and Mean Miss Mella have yet to be written.
Call N. Alcars
'like lots of mustard on my fried baloney sammiches'